A year without Faith

So what do you do when you feel like crying? Do you fight it, distract yourself and keep moving through your day or do you just let the tears come? Today marks one year since my aunt Faith left in a VERY painful way. She took her last breaths in the early morning hours surrounded by her husband and children who fought so hard to keep her alive. It was a very hard fight she fought and she was so brave through all of the pain. It was very hard to watch someone you love go through so much. She was very selfless and would call me to see how I was doing. It was only through others and seeing her myself was I able to find out how bad she was. When I would speak to her on the phone she wouldn't elaborate on how she would be vomiting all day long and unable to keep food down. She didn't tell me how thin and weak she had become. She was confident she was going to beat it, and she had everyone around her thinking positive too. To me she was the same strong woman who had always called me to joke around and talk to. She was known for her good conversations on the phone and they could go on for hours before you even realized. When I lived in UT there were a few one hour drives from Salt Lake back to my home near Ogden that flew by on the phone with her. So why do I feel like crying today? It's been a year. I've thought of her many times, but I guess today I am reliving the moments when I found out the horrible news.

So what did she die of? Liver cancer. I hope others can learn from this like I have. She was only 57!! It is because of her mostly and my own health issues sidely that put me on this health crusade. I remember the night I found out through e-mail she had been diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer. I stayed up all night and researched it. I was about 6 months pregnant. I was so upset that everything I read said even if she did chemotherapy her chances of survival were almost non-existent. I didn't know then that I would come to not believing in chemo. I ended up staying up until four in the morning trying to find alternatives. I went to bed still crying and my baby was moving scarily. I had such a hard time trying to calm myself for his safety. I have never felt any of my babies move that way and I never want to again.

My research kept bringing me back to the same thing. A healthy raw, vegan diet. People had survived eating this way. I don't recall, however if any of them were stage 4. Also important was vitamin D and exercise. So there you have it. It is because of my aunt that I believe in raw food. I checked out book after book from the library. Carol Alt's was the first one I read. I spent countless hours online. I found that it wasn't healthy to eat the way most people do.

I had always thought our heart did the most important job in our body. I realized that our liver and other glands like our pancreas were just as important and very often overlooked. Our liver is extremely important. It is your body's purifier. We need it so bad in this day in age when we breath toxic air, drink toxic water and eat processed foods that barely resemble their original forms. I mean what the heck is Velveta? It's not even cheese, they call it cheese food. YUCK! The more processed a food is, the harder your liver is going to have to work to figure out what to do with it. Processed foods wreak havoc on your whole system. Same goes for all of these synthetic prescriptions we are told to take. So much of our longevity depends on how much attention we give to our liver and digestion system. Some people take better care of their cars and houses than they do their bodies.

So what should you do to change your own oil, hehe!?

~Start your day with lemon water. This helps get the wonderful alkaline bile flowing. I use one quart with one fresh lemon squeezed into it. PLEASE throw out your ReaLemon. It is synthetic and should not be consumed EVER!

~Start drinking green smoothies. This will help get things cleaned up. My son shows you how here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xG2xsLAVqM

~Do a cleanse. Here's one:
http://www.vitacost.com/Renew-Life-CleanseSMART-trade-Advanced-Cleanse-Kit-Plus-Free-FiberSmart-trade

~then this one:
http://www.vitacost.com/Renew-Life-CleanseSMART-Liver-Detox


~Get a colonic, OR several. I LOVE how good I feel after. Yes I know there are conflicting opinions about these, but nothing cleans out all the muck from gluten and dairy like a colonic. Just get yourself some probiotics to take after. I've researched this one a lot and I think people are so much better off doing a colonic. Not many people have healthy intestinal flora that they would be washing out anyways and this will remove all the stuff the unhealthy bacteria is feeding on.


Give your liver a break. Stop eating so many processed foods, meats and chemicals. Replace breakfast with a smoothie and dinner with a salad. Make lunch your only meal where you eat the cooked foods. Then your liver can concentrate on doing it's work at night rather than dealing with that big steak you had for dinner.


Your body can detox through your mouth, your skin and your bowels. So keep these things clear of toxins. Go back to my other post on deodorant and learn how to let the toxins out of your pores. Rinse the crud out of your mouth in the morning instead of swallowing it and you can even use a tongue scraper. Stop putting synthetic chemicals on your skin in the form of lotions. Your body absorbs it. If you wouldn't eat it don't put it on your skin. Use coconut or olive oil instead.


One last note. If you look in the mirror and see dark circles under your eyes that is a sign that your liver and kidneys are struggling. It is a form of bruising and a big red flag to help them out. Your liver can regenerate in 7 years, so get to work now and seven years from now you could be a whole new person!!

So this is dedicated to my aunt Faith. I believe she saved me from the same problems. We shared so many similar symptoms that I now know are not just a normal part of being a human. Asthma and allergies and eczema are not normal and I don't have to live with them. I am passing the inhaler torch to someone else! Bring on the campfires!

Toxic Euphoria!

Okay I think this weeks topic is going to be a lot easier for people to accomplish than the last one. I am really trying to keep up with this whole blogging thing. haha! I would really like to know what you are thinking of my posts. Make sure you comment or ask questions because I do check in. There is going to be a pattern to my posts on eliminating toxins for a while. When you catch on to what it is let me know. I am going to try to make this topic short, even though like the last I could go on and on about the dangers, but I also want to make sure it is getting read.

Do you have chronic headaches, sinus problems, or even asthma? Could it be something you are exposing yourself to that is doing it? Did you know that there is no regulation on the fragrance industry? That means they are using their own discretion when it comes to the ingredients. We all know how well companies who are out for profit regulate themselves and I do not trust putting products like that on my body.

Many chemicals in perfume and cologne are the same as those found in cigarette smoke. I would really love to quote Doris Bapp here, but my book is in storage so my memory will have to do. If you do have the time, her book is called Our Toxic World. The chemicals in perfumes go directly into the bloodstream when applied to our skin and are also absorbed into the skin from our clothing. We also inhale the chemical fumes, which then go straight to our brains where they can do major harm.

Many even have a "narcotic" effect, which is why some people seem "addicted" to their perfumes. Hmm, maybe that was my problem. I had a major perfume addiction. My collection had at least 100 bottles of the most expensive stuff you could find at Macy's. I have slowly given it away, but have held on to a few with sentimental value.

This goes for candles too. I will probably cover candles and other household fragrances in another post, but for now you may want to start noticing how those things make you feel when you use them. I can't go to my mother in laws house because she has it so full of candles burning. I leave with a terrible headache.

So I will now give you some alternatives to wearing toxic chemicals on your skin. You can not wear anything, which is what I do 90% of the time, or there are essential oils which come from plants that actually have positive effects on your mood. Just make sure you buy a quality, pure brand like Aura Cacia. They also make a fruity perfume made of essential oils. Some oils that you may like for balancing are rose or geranium. Peppermint for energizing and smelling it also works wonders for headaches. Sandalwood and myrrh help calm the mind. For attracting the opposite sex try ylang ylang, patchouli, rose or jasmine. For relaxing try lavender, and chamomile. I like the fruity ones like orange, lemon and grapefruit. Smelling grapefruit is an appetite suppressant. Essential oils can be used for so many things and I think they are so much fun. Some oils can be irritating to the skin alone because of their concentrated form so I recommend mixing a small amount with a base oil like olive oil or apricot oil in this case.

This is all about being kind to our liver. If you have been using toxic chemicals you most definitely need to look into cleansing your liver. Your liver is one of your lifelines to good health. If you are also trying to lose weight I suggest treating your liver kindly because you can't lose weight properly without a healthy liver. An unhealthy liver can affect every single organ in your body. Symptoms of an unhealthy liver include allergies, high cholesterol, malnutrition, and in extreme cases hepatitis and gallstones. Liver cleansing can relieve many of these ailments.

The liver is our body’s primary detoxification organ and manufacturing plant. It cleans drugs, alcohol, poisons, bacterial products, various waste products and worn out red blood cells from the body. The liver is also the main factory for amino acids, proteins and fats, and the stores fat and glucose – the energy source for all bodily functions. Enough of that for now, back to perfume.


So if you need more evidence, here is a brain scan before and after exposure to perfume:
http://www.ourlittleplace.com/spect.html

95% of chemicals used in fragrances are synthetic compounds derived from petroleum. They include benzene derivatives, aldehydes and many other known toxics and sensitizers all which are capable of causing cancer, birth defects, central nervous system disorders and allergic reactions.*


Top chemicals used in perfumes/colognes:

1. ACETONE (in: cologne, dishwashing liquid and detergent, nail enamel remover)

On EPA, RCRA, CERCLA Hazardous Waste lists. "Inhalation can cause dryness of the mouth and throat; dizziness, nausea, incoordination, slurred speech, drowsiness, and, in severe exposures, coma." "Acts primarily as a central nervous system (CNS) depressant."


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2. BENZALDEHYDE (in: perfume, cologne, hairspray, laundry bleach, deodorants, detergent, vaseline lotion, shaving cream, shampoo, bar soap, dishwasher detergent)

Narcotic. Sensitizer. "Local anesthetic, CNS depressant"... "irritation to the mouth, throat, eyes, skin, lungs, and GI tract, causing nausea and abdominal pain." "May cause kidney damage." "Do not use with contact lenses."


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3. BENZYL ACETATE (in: perfume, cologne, shampoo, fabric softener, stickup air freshener, dishwashing liquid and detergent, soap, hairspray, bleach, after shave, deodorants)

Carcinogenic (linked to pancreatic cancer); "From vapors: irritating to eyes and respiratory passages, exciting cough." "In mice: hyperanemia of the lungs." "Can be absorbed through the skin causing systemic effects." "Do not flush to sewer."


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4. BENZYL ALCOHOL (in: perfume, cologne, soap, shampoo, nail enamel remover, air freshener, laundry bleach and detergent, vaseline lotion, deodorants, fabric softener)

"irritating to the upper respiratory tract" ..."headache, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, drop in blood pressure, CNS depression, and death in severe cases due to respiratory failure."


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5. CAMPHOR (in: perfume, shaving cream, nail enamel, fabric softener, dishwasher detergent, nail color, stickup air freshener)

"local irritant and CNS stimulant" ..."readily absorbed through body tissues" ..."irritation of eyes, nose and throat" ..."dizziness, confusion, nausea, twitching muscles and convulsions" "Avoid inhalation of vapors."


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6. ETHANOL (in: perfume, hairspray, shampoo, fabric softener, dishwashing liquid and detergent, laundry detergent, shaving cream, soap, vaseline lotion, air fresheners, nail color and remover, paint and varnish remover)

On EPA Hazardous Waste list; symptoms: "...fatigue; irritating to eyes and upper respiratory tract even in low concentrations..." "Inhalation of ethanol vapors can have effects similar to those characteristic of ingestion. These include an initial stimulatory effect followed by drowsiness, impaired vision, ataxia, stupor..." Causes CNS disorder.


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7. ETHYL ACETATE (in: after shave, cologne, perfume, shampoo, nail color, nail enamel remover, fabric softener, dishwashing liquid)

Narcotic. On EPA Hazardous Waste list; "...irritating to the eyes and respiratory tract" ..."may cause headache and narcosis (stupor)" ..."defatting effect on skin and may cause drying and cracking" ..."may cause anemia with leukocytosis and damage to liver and kidneys" "Wash thoroughly after handling."


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8. LIMONENE (in: perfume, cologne, disinfectant spray, bar soap, shaving cream, deodorants, nail color and remover, fabric softener, dishwashing liquid, air fresheners, after shave, bleach, paint and varnish remover)

Carcinogenic. "Prevent its contact with skin or eyes because it is an irritant and sensitizer." "Always wash thoroughly after using this material and before eating, drinking, ...applying cosmetics. Do not inhale limonene vapor."


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9. LINALOOL (in: perfume, cologne, bar soap, shampoo, hand lotion, nail enamel remover, hairspray, laundry detergent, dishwashing liquid, vaseline lotion, air fresheners, bleach powder, fabric softener, shaving cream, after shave, solid deodorant)

Narcotic. ..."respiratory disturbances" ... "Attracts bees." "In animal tests: ataxic gait, reduced spontaneous motor activity and depression ... development of respiratory disturbances leading to death." ..."depressed frog-heart activity." Causes CNS disorder.


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10. METHYLENE CHLORIDE (in: shampoo, cologne, paint and varnish remover)

Banned by the FDA in 1988! No enforcement possible due to trade secret laws protecting chemical fragrance industry. On EPA, RCRA, CERCLA Hazardous Waste lists. "Carcinogenic" ..."Absorbed, stored in body fat, it metabolizes to carbon monoxide, reducing oxygen-carrying capacity of the blood." "Headache, giddiness, stupor, irritability, fatigue, tingling in the limbs." Causes CNS disorder.


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11. a-PINENE (in: bar and liquid soap, cologne, perfume, shaving cream, deodorants, dishwashing liquid, air freshener)

Sensitizer (damaging to the immune system).


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12. g-TERPINENE (in: cologne, perfume, soap, shaving cream, deodorant, air freshener)

"Causes asthma and CNS disorders."


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13. a-TERPINEOL (in: perfume, cologne, laundry detergent, bleach powder, laundry bleach, fabric softener, stickup air freshener, vaseline lotion, cologne, soap, hairspray, after shave, roll-on deodorant)

..."highly irritating to mucous membranes"... "Aspiration into the lungs can produce pneumonitis or even fatal edema." Can also cause "excitement, ataxia (loss of muscular coordination), hypothermia, CNS and respiratory depression, and headache." "Prevent repeated or prolonged skin contact."


Other chemicals to look out for:
COCOAMIDE DEA (diethylalomine) TEA, MEA,-- detergent in most shampoos, moisturizers and more

PROPYLENE GLYCOL - industrial antifreeze- in deodorant, shampoos, shaving gels, moisturizers and more...

SODIUM LAURYL SULFATE-AND FLUORIDE garage floor cleansers, detergents- in shampoos, toothpastes, more...



I carry Food Additives: A Shopper's Guide to What's Safe & What's Not in my purse and it is a great reference tool to use in the store until you get used to what is safe and what's not. For some reason it isn't available on Amazon right now though.




*Neurotoxins: At Home and the Workplace, Report by the Committee on Science & Technology, U.S. House of Representatives, Sept. 16, 1986. (Report 99-827)

Eat More Kale

So you read the title and you are thinking fibrous, chewy kale salad, YUCK! Before you jump to conclusions trust me this salad is quite tasty and very good for you at the same time.

Kale is full of chlorophyll and calcium. Calcium that has not been heated to extreme temperatures and denatured and rendered useless for your body. One cup of raw kale has the following:

3.3 grams protein
2 grams fiber
135 mg calcium
120 mg vitamin C

Those are just a few to give you an idea of the great nutritional value kale has to offer. It is one of my favorite greens because of it's dense nutritional value.

So here's the recipe for you to try. It's simple and the ingredients are probably already in your house.

1 Bunch Kale
2 tbsp olive oil
1/2 tsp sea or Himalayan salt
1 avocado
1/2 lemon juiced

green onions
cherry tomatoes
kalamata olives

One bunch kale washed and chopped into small pieces. Cut the leaves away from the fibrous stems. Drizzle about two tablespoons of olive oil over and 1/2 tsp salt and massage into the kale for a few minutes. This will help break down the cell walls and soften the kale. Add an avocado and massage in followed by the juice of half a lemon. Do not substitute with the bottled stuff. You are better off going for fast food than consuming Real Lemon, ugh! That's a whole other post. That's it! You can end here or you can add in your salad favorites like some examples I listed above.

I actually had a bumper sticker on my car that said "Eat More Kale," but sadly it's a website for T-shirts and I felt like I was advertising that rather than the fact that kale is a phenomenal food so I took it off.

Stinky Topic

This is going to be the first article of a series on how to stop exposing our bodies to chemicals one step at a time. Everywhere I go I want to tell everyone about the dangers of the foods, water and cosmetics they are exposing themselves to. I don't have the problem as much when I go grocery shopping, because I do that at health food stores, but when I go to Costco I have to have a great deal of self control. I go there to get a few organic things like frozen berries, apples and spinach. I also get avocados, and pinneapple there even though they aren't organic. As I walk through the store I see other moms loading their carts with Gogurts, Crustables, bottled water, pasteurized milk, sodas, processed cereals, and the list goes on and on. I have changed alot over the past five or so years. I used to buy canned foods and some processed things, so I do understand the ignorance that can come with buying these things. I wish there were a way to get the message out to other mom's so they don't have to spend hours researching like I have. So here is my plan. I am going to pick some of the things that I think will make a huge difference in people's lives and try to make it simple for them to elimintate these health hinderers from their lives. I may pick an easier one some weeks, and harder ones other weeks, and I won't always pick the most important to come first because sometimes they are harder changes to make.

So this week I am going to concentrate on body odor. Body odor is really quite a scary topic for most. How in the world do I expect you to stop white knuckling your protection because you fear scaring off all of your friends and coworkers? Well first you need to detox and for some this is a very good time because you probably have a little vacation from work to try a few of these things. If not, don't fear. The Crystal will probably get you by. Just bring it with you to work because you may need to reapply it for awhile. Trust me after you read what all of the ingredients in mainstream deodorants can do to you, you will agree it is worth the hassle. Once you have detoxed you will have an amazing sense of freedom from that gross stuff you used to rely on daily.

If everyone stopped putting regular deodorant on I believe they would feel much better. My recommendation after being my own guinea pig is baking soda without aluminum (if it doesn't say, it has it) Bob's Red Mill can be purchased at Whole Foods for a couple bucks or Crystal which can be found at health stores. I have tried a few other brands and wasn't as thrilled with them. It was prior to my detox though, so I will give them that.

My own detox period lasted for about two months. I believe it would have been much shorter had I not gone back to my Dove deodorant over and over when I had a special outing. That hinders the progress. Every now and then I eat some meat and processed foods at a family get together and like clockwork I have to use baking soda for a few days. Other than that I never use any form of deodorant and I never have any smell issues at all. It's true!! I'm a mom under stress and I live in the heat of Vegas and I never stink!!! Okay not never. Only when I eat certain foods though, like I said.


Deodorant Tips

Different anti-perspirants work in different ways. Some work by shrinking sweat glands. Others work by clogging or shrinking the pores in your underarms. Many studies have shown that the compounds in these anti-perspirants are not healthy, not allowing sweat glands to do their job releasing toxins. Over time the aluminum compounds have also been shown to collect in the brain, possibly leading to Alzheimers. (There are other chemicals to avoid, see the end of this article). While anti-perspirants have these disturbing side effects, deodorants work simply to fight bacteria and to scent the underarm. That's why many people believe using deodorants is a much healthier option.

When you switch from an anti-perspirant to a deodorant, your glands and pores will start to unclog, open up, and function properly. In this transition period, toxins and other fluid buildup are being released and one may notice his/her body odor increase. Not knowing the changes that are occurring in their body, this increased odor sends people running right back to their trusty anti-perspirant. Steps for getting off of regular deodorant:

1. Test
Give a new deodorant product at least a week before you decide if its right for you.

2. "Detox"
If you've been using an anti-perspirant, there's a bunch of buildup in the underarms. Dead skin cells, and chemical residue. Before your shower, dry-brush your underarm skin to loosen this buildup and to gently increase circulation. In the shower, lightly rub a loofah or exfoliating bath mitt on your underarms or simply use a washcloth if that's all you have. Stay away from anti-bacterial detergents for cleaning, only using true natural soaps for cleaning like Dr Bronners.

3. Sweat, sweat, sweat!!
Exercise. Use a sauna. Take hot showers and baths. These things will make you perspire and get your sweat glands functioning properly again. You may notice your underarm sweat being a little thick. This is because the sweat glands in your armpits are different from others on the rest of your body. Instead of just water and salt, these glands excrete amino acids. Your glands haven't been able to excrete all of these amino acids so there may be a buildup of mucous being released.

4. Hydrate well.
With all this sweating you need to replace your fluids.

5. Clothing
Natural fibers like cotton, bamboo and hemp will help wick perspiration away from your body. Synthetic fibers like acetate and polyester trap sweat in, giving bacteria a warm wet place to live. Synthetic fibers also hold sweat in the fabric, so bacteria actually starts growing on your shirt itself. Gross!

6. Cut the red meat.
Many claim that the consumption of red meat increases body odor. In 2006, a group of researchers in the Czech Republic put the theory to the test. The collected the perspiration of males, meat-eating and non-meat-eaters. They then had women judge the odor of the perspiration based on a number of factors.

"Results of repeated measures analysis of variance showed that the odor of donors when on the non-meat diet was judged as significantly more attractive, more pleasant, and less intense. This suggests that red meat consumption has a negative impact on perceived body odor hedonicity."

Eating red meat, according to this study, does make you smell more pungent. But what's the science behind it?

Our bodies have two types of sweat glands: eccrine and apocrine. Eccrine glands are located all over the body. The sweat that eccrine glands produces is nothing much more than salt water. Apocrine glands, however, are different. Apocrine glands develop during puberty, and are located in the underarm and groin areas. The sweat that these glands produce contain fatty acids and proteins that are then eaten by bacteria. So even though we have bacteria all over our bodies, odor only comes from areas with apocrine glands.

When we eat red meat, our bodies contain more protein and fatty acids than someone on a vegetarian or vegan diet. Thus, more proteins and fatty acids are excreted through the apocrine glands of a meat eater than those of a vegetarian. The underarms of a meat-eater has more “food” for bacteria to eat and multiply with, so there's more body odor. I have found this to be true for myself over and over again.


Ingredients to avoid:


•Propylene Glycol is a penetration enhancer, actually breaking down your skins natural protective barrier and enters your bloodstream, bringing any other chemicals along with it.


•Aloe Vera or water. While water and aloe vera themselves are not harmful ingredients, their presence means that there's got to be some type of synthetic preservative to keep it from going bad.


•Fragrance may contain phlalates that are proven hormone distruptors, particularly affecting the way the female hormone estrogen works in your body (in men, women, and children). Tetrasodium EDTA is actually made from sodium cyanide (a toxic salt) and formaldehyde (a carcinogen).


•Synthetic colors like FD&C Yellow and D&C Green are made from coal tar, and can be skin irritants, hormone distruptors, and formaldehyde donors.


•Diazolidinyl Urea is a skin and immune system toxin, and has been shown to cause cancer in some studies. Commonly sourced as an extract from animal urine.


•Triethanolamine (TEA) is made from ethylene oxide, a known carcinogen.


•Parabens (methyl, ethyl, propyl, iso, etc) can cause skin irritation and allergies and has been shown in many studies to be a hormone disruptor.


•Quaternium-15 is a preservative that can contain formaldehyde, a known carcinogen. Bronopol breaks down to create the carcinogens formaldehyde and nitrosamines according to the FDA.


•Octoxynol and Nonoxynol are hormone disruptors and should be avoided by children and pregnant women in particular.


•Triclosan has been shown to cause liver damage and hormone disruption. Ceteareth-20 (or 12) is used as a thickener and can be contaminated with carcinogens such as ethylene oxide and dioxane. It is also a neurotoxin, a skin irritant, and has been deemed by the Cosmetic Ingredient Review an ingredient not safe for use on injured or damaged skin.


You can do a search through the Environmetal Working Group's website for any cosmetic product here:
http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/index.php

For fun I did a search for my old deodorant Dove radiant silk. I thought you might like to see what I was exposing my body to, or even better put-what I am no longer poisoning my body with!!

Ingredients in this product are linked to:
Cancer
Developmental/reproductive toxicity
Allergies/immunotoxicity
Other concerns for ingredients used in this product:
Neurotoxicity, Endocrine disruption, Persistence and bioaccumulation, Organ system toxicity (non-reproductive), Miscellaneous, Multiple, additive exposure sources, Irritation (skin, eyes, or lungs), Contamination concerns, Occupational hazards, Biochemical or cellular level changes

Awe Dove is such a lovely company isn't it? Looking out for women everywhere. You know that they found parabens in samples of breast tumors? Not good no matter how you spin it. More here:
http://www.organicconsumers.org/bodycare/paraben011304.cfm

So are you with me? Have I convinced you to start your new healthy lifestyle today?

Correction: I no longer trust the Crystal deodorant. I think the safest bet is eating clean and using nothing or using baking soda. That's what I do! :)

What do you want?

So it may not seem like a life changing event that I got my allergy test results, but to me this is HUGE and has brought about so many emotions for me. First off in case you don't know, my test came back that I was allergic to: Eggs, Brewers yeast, Bananas, Corn, Dates, Garlic, Malt, Cow's Milk, Mushrooms, Spinach, Tomatoes, Wheat, and Baker's Yeast. Okay so this may seem like a small list to you, but if you look closer you will see that eggs, yeast, wheat, milk and corn are staples in most American's diet and cannot be avoided in processed foods. Well I don't eat those and had eliminated them from my diet almost entirely so what really disrupts my life are all the foods that are left. Like DATES, SPINACH, GARLIC and BANANAS! I had already had a hunch about the tomatoes and had eliminated them already. Seeing the test I felt like stomping my feet like a kid and saying "NO FAIR!" Don't get me wrong that only lasted seconds. I was so high yesterday finally knowing what my body perceives as the enemy. For two years my rash has been life altering. Constant itching, cracking, burning and pain on my hands. That's all fine. I'm pretty tough, obviously I dealt with it for many years, but when it was all for nothing? That's hard for me to deal with. Maybe eliminating all of those foods first by learning how bad they were for me was the path I was supposed to take. Maybe I would have still wanted them and felt sorry for myself, and now I have no desire for dairy or gluten. I don't know??

Now the two yeasts in there lead my doctor and I to believe I do have a candida overgrowth that has leaked into my bloodstream, and possibly leaky gut. I will have to take another $640 test to determine that for sure, but the usual suspects are there. I have a huge percentage of the symptoms and have had for nearly all of my life. If you don't know much about it you can check it out here: http://www.holistichelp.net/candida.html Now I am NOT a hypochondriac. Quite the opposite in my opinion. I deny that I have anything wrong that is bad enough to seek help for as LONG as I can. This is where the emotional part comes in. Why have I let this go on for so long affecting every aspect of my life? From my energy, my weight, my anxiety over everything, my happiness, my sleep, my health, my parenting and relationship with my husband and children? and so many other issues! Could I be a more patient mother? I work so hard at it! Why didn't I seek answers sooner? I laid in bed last night wondering how life would have been different had I sought help earlier. Would I have been easily thin? Would I have been involved in sports? Would I have sought larger goals for myself? Would I be happier? I started to get angry. Angry at doctors for giving me antibiotics. Angry at them and pharmaceutical companies for piling prescription on top of prescription for my allergies, asthma and eczema. Angry at myself for falling for it all and not being smart enough not to get duped. Worst of all angry that I had 3 raw miserable pregnancies that possibly could have been pleasant. Possibly followed by a natural birth. That's when the tears came. That is my Achilles heal. I so long for a happy pregnancy where I get to enjoy my baby growing inside of me.

Now I don't consider myself a person who regrets things. I try very hard to appreciate where my roads have lead me and never regret anything. So where is all of this anger coming from? I decided I need to turn it into something positive and fast! Who needs all of this pity? Not me! So I thought about it all day. What can I do to heal this wrong? I know I am so very grateful for this life that I have. Every moment with my boys melts my heart. I can never get enough of them. So if this journey brought me here, then I must except it and try to forget what could have been and concentrate on how to improve my life with them now. Not regret that I could have been more energetic in play with them before or less irritable to them or John. He's still here, so I guess I wasn't that bad. :)

So I want to help others by inspiring to take action to take care of themselves. If reading my feelings makes you realize you need to take care of yourself, then my learning wasn't all for nothing. Quit telling yourself it's no big deal! Quit putting your needs last! Take action and take care of yourself! Just don't give up. There are tests out there that regular doctors don't use and those tests utilize amazing science. The test I want next measures everything from your DNA to your intestinal flora.

I was sitting here talking to John tonight about my rash and I said, " I just want to feel normal..." Wait what was that? After saying those words my mind heard tires screaching to a halt! That is exactly the opposite of what I want! I don't want normal! I want so much more! Normal these days doesn't seem to look like it feels good. Look around you. So I decided to start listing off what I want for myself:

I want to be radiant and full of energy
rolling with jubilant laughter and smiles
HEALTHY in every aspect
free of all pains and itching
sharp and quick thinking
juicy!
full of life
springing out of bed in the morning rearing to go
an inspiration
blissful, cheerful, gleeful and jolly
content and peaceful
sunny, sparkling and light
walking on air!!
appreciative

So what would you put on your list?

Gluten Free Sandwich Bread

So it may seem like I am on a gluten free kick. Well I guess so. My husband has become more open minded to going gluten free and I have stopped buying him ezekiel bread. He is also eating alot more raw food. Since doing this he has become exceptionally hungry and goes from cupboard to fridge searching for something to eat. I had to slowly transition away from certain foods and I need to help him do the same, but everything I've ever bought at Whole Foods that is gluten free has been horrible and I'd rather go hungry. I know that making things homemade can produce a much tastier result so I have been experimenting to find a good bread for him. My first couple tries were less than desirable, so I was so elated when this recipe worked. I almost did cartwheels! Soft, fluffy, yummy bread! I got it off of Gluten Free Mommy's blog, and altered it slightly to what I had on hand. I have since made almond butter, jelly sandwiches, garlic bread, and honey bread with it! Sooo yummy!


Here's her site, she has lots of gluten free recipes but this is the only one I've tried:
http://glutenfreemommy.com/baking-gluten-free-bread-millet-oatmeal-bread/


GLUTEN FREE MILLET OATMEAL BREAD RECIPE
1 cup brown rice flour
1/2 cup certified gluten free oat flour (you can pulverize oats in a food processor to make oat flour) *If you are sensitive to oat flour, try quinoa flour
3/4 cup millet flour
1/2 cup tapioca flour
1/3 cup arrowroot starch* you can substitute cornstarch if you need to (I used cornstarch)
1/3 cup sweet rice flour (I just used buckwheat flour here)
1/4 flax seed meal (you can’t taste it and it adds fiber)
1 Tablespoon xanthan gum
3 eggs
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
1 packet active dry yeast+ 1 tsp granulated sugar for proofing yeast
1 Tablespoon molasses
3 Tablespoons brown sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
4 Tablespoons butter or butter substitute, melted
1/4 cup plus 1 cup heated water (I heated my water to 120 degrees to proof the yeast)

Here's her directions:

DIRECTIONS:
Make sure all your dry ingredients (and eggs!) are at room temperature. Grease the bottom of a 10 inch loaf pan or two 8 inch pans. Heat the oven to 200 degrees and then turn off. In the bowl of your stand mixer (I used my paddle not my dough hook for this recipe), sift together the dry ingredients. In a separate medium bowl, mix eggs, molasses, vinegar, and melted butter together. Heat your water for proofing the yeast. I recommend 120 degrees. In a small prep bowl, stir together your active dry yeast and one teaspoon of sugar. Add 1/4 cup of the heated water to the yeast mixture. Let the yeast sit for 10 minutes. It should be foamy and active! If not, start over with another packet of yeast. Once your yeast is ready, add the egg mixture to the dry ingredients. Then add the yeast mixture. Then slowly add your water (should still be warm) to achieve the right consistency in your batter. Since different brands, flours, measuring techniques act different I do not recommend just blindly dumping in the rest of the water but adding gradually instead. The dough should be like very stiff cake batter. I beat my dough on high for about 15 minutes in my stand mixer. If you accidentally add too much water simply add a little rice flour until you achieve the dough consistency you are after. Put the dough in your prepared pan and place in oven to rise for about 1 - 1 1/2 hours. You can put plastic wrap or a towel over the pan. My house is much too cold right now so I put mine in the oven so that the dough can rise. Once the dough has risen to the top of the pan, bake the bread for 40 minutes at 350 degrees or until internal temperature reaches 190 degrees. As you can tell, I am big on thermometers.

Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies

My hubby wanted to go get frozen yogurt at Yogel's the other night. I said why don't we just get some organic ice cream when we go shopping later. Then when we got there and we looked at the ingredients we decided we didn't want to do that either. He said, "how about we make chocolate chip cookies?" I puckered my lips and said "hmm, how about gluten free cookies?" He said, "okaaaay," in a hum hawing voice. Now the challenge was to figure out how to do this without buying a package, and it took me a day to get to it.

I have been saving the nut pulp from our nut milks for awhile now. I dehydrate it and grind it into a flour and then put it in the freezer for freshness. I never know what to do with it. They sell almond powder in small packages for a hefty price, so I knew I should keep saving it, especially since mine was from RAW organic almonds and nuts. So here's what I threw together. It's not perfect, BUT it is better than any of the alternatives and is just one more step away from all of the terrible snacks that tempt my family. It's also not raw, but I would have been completely satisfied eating the dough. It was good! In fact that's what I ate. I'm also not a huge fan of the agave anymore, but it's all about transition and if agave helps then we will use it for awhile. I use dates for most everything and I love them. I will probably try them in this recipe sometime.

Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 1/4 cups Almond Flour (mine was a combination of almond, hazelnut, brazil nut, and macadamina nut)

1/8 teaspoon sea salt

1/8 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 cup raw agave syrup

5 tablespoons coconut oil or 5 tablespoons organic melted butter if you don't mind dairy*

1 teaspoon organic vanilla

1/2 cup organic dark chocolate chips (use raw cacao if you are just eating the dough)

Combine dry ingredients in a large bowl
Combine wet ingredients in a different bowl
Mix wet ingredients and dry together
Form balls and press onto an oiled baking sheet (They need to be smashed or they will hold the ball shape)

Bake at 350° for 7-12 minutes
Cool off and serve with some cold nut milk

Makes 12 cookies

OR

even better leave out the baking soda and eat it raw! Whip up some raw ice cream and put some cookie dough crumbles in. MmmmMMmmm, pure heaven.

*If you haven't switched over to buying organic food I recommend starting with your butter and cream (this includes ICE CREAM!) Butter is from the fat of the cow's milk and is where alot of the pesticides and antibiotics the cow is exposed to end up. If you simply switch your butter purchasing habits you will largely eliminate the amount of pesticides you are exposed to.

Stay tuned for my gluten free bread recipe too!